Thursday, January 28, 2010

Helpful hints

I wish I could hold seminars for lesbians trying to conceive. Now I am not claiming to be some sort of fertility expert, and I know that we are lucky to have gotten pregnant so fast, but reading some lesbians journeys trying to conceive just makes me so frustrated.

Before we started, Ros bought me The Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy, and Birth for Christmas. We read that book cover to cover (minus a few chapters that didn't pertain to me at all). I made it my mission to become the most fertile dyke I could be, mainly because I wanted to limit Ros's exposure to semen. I mean we're lesbians, and one of the biggest perks of being so is not having to be around that sticky, smelly stuff. Also, I didn't want to burn through our entire life savings on buying stuff that men just waste on a daily basis.

Months before even thinking of trying, I was vigilant on temping every morning. I started a regimen of herbal supplements and vitamins that I thought would help my cycle and my body. I drank organic fertility tea daily that I made from scratch even when we went on vacation. I exercised and tried eating organically (most of the time). I even tried to do a body cleanse which sent me running for toilets in various places due to the "colon cleansing aspect". Ros became intimately familiar with my cervix and what it's texture and position meant for my impending ovulation. It wasn't easy and sometimes not very pleasant. It really isn't my personality to live this kind of lifestyle, but I knew what I wanted, what we wanted, and wanted to make it as easy as possible to get there. I also read the book Making Babies, which takes eastern and western philosophies on fertility and incorporated some of those into my life, like eating "warm" foods to help become pregnant. I felt like it was my job to groom the fertile environment within me. I read this was important in some hippie type book I stumbled across and thought that nothing could be truer. You wouldn't throw seeds in some chemical filled nasty dirt and expect them to sprout into beautiful flowers.

I really just feel bad for some of the posts I read on babycenter. I just read over and over again women who are failing mainly because they just don't know their cycle and their body. They use ovulation predictors but don't really know what those predictors mean for them. They are unaware of the time their mucus is most fertile, before or after ovulation. I found that to be one of the helpful signs. The list goes on.

My advice for everyone trying to conceive is to make your body into a science experiment. Try and gather as much information as you possibly can about your fertility signs and your cycle. Write it down each month. Temp and use OPK's to see how long after your OPK turns positive that you actually ovulate. Eat well and exercise. Drink fertility tea. And when all else fails get a St. Gerard medal (the patron saint of motherhood) and wear it daily. Although I am a "recovering" catholic and really not religious at all, Sue at Ros's work got us each a medal because she swears by the power of it. Well we started wearing it and we got pregnant that month. Call it coincidence, but we didn't take that medal off until my first trimester passed. Here we are almost 18 weeks along and all is well.


  1. I think I have some of the same feelings about conceiving as a SMC. The BBC boards are full of myths, old wives tales, and some just plain ignorance! I think that the sperm bank board is a little more educated, just because a certain amount of research goes into the process of getting pregnant without a man, lol. But you're right-if you don't know your body, you will have a really tough time getting pregnant with frozen goods.
    Congrats on being almost halfway to the finish line!

  2. Thanks, I really can't believe it. On one hand it's gone by so fast, on the other, so slow. Trying to enjoy every minute, but so anxious to get to the end.