Other Mother Rant

I'll start with that "other mother":
OTHER[uhth-er]:
1. additional or further
2. different or distinct from the one mentioned or implied

3. different in nature or kind

4. being the remaining one of two or more

When I think of being a mother, the words "additional", "different" or "remaining" don't give me that warm, fuzzy feeling. But the alternative of "non-bio mother" sounds like a science experiment. It makes "other mother" sound pretty attractive.

On that note, I'll get to my real point. I feel helpless. Nickie's coming into the home stretch and feeling it. During the discomfort, shortness of breath, constipation, vurps, 'roids and cankles, I act as an empathetic witness. There's not a lot I can do but rub her feet and hope additional symptoms will pass so she'll feel better. I'm sure men go through this, feeling edgy and unsure. I have some secondary feelings of responsibility; it could have been me instead.

Since I'm the other mother and can't carry for her, I scramble to look for things to do or clean or buy to prep for the impending peanut. I'm happy to say it's made me very productive; we have a newly painted, carpeted, furnished nursery all set up. But now that everything is done, I'm twittling my thumbs in an attempt to repress my desire to online shop for baby clothes. I wish I could do more.

Whine, whine, whine.... Ok. I'm done. (I wouldn't be a woman if I couldn't find something to bitch about during the happiest time of our lives, right?)

Nickie's looking super cute. Here's her 28 week photo. We can see her belly move now when the baby whips out her Chuck Norris moves. Nugget and I have had some quality time when Nickie's sleeping. I like to think she acknowledges me, because she always gives a few good kicks when I put my hand on Nickie's belly in the morning before I get up for work.

-Ros

Yawn...

I hate that the mono-feeling of the first trimester has reared her head again. I read that it would happen, but I'm only 29 weeks today, and I don't know if I can handle feeling like crap for the next 11 (hopefully less) weeks. Here I sit on the couch, with 3 wiener dogs piled on top of me and not even enough energy to kick them off. Good thing the fingers don't require much gusto to type.

Good news is I passed my glucose test with a 96. How wonderful. The organic grape juice alternative to drinking that bright orange chemical glucose "beverage" was quite lovely. I sucked that juice down in like 20 seconds after the lady who would be drawing my blood gave a dirty look because I didn't accept her drink. I love having a midwife, it's so much easier to be "less" traditional.

I also had a cbc drawn that day. It showed my hematocrit to be slightly less than optimal at 34 which could be why I am feeling so crappy. I am waiting for my Florodix iron supplement to arrive by mail. I am ultra excited that I found a pill form so I don't have to suck down a disgusting liquid every day. This is supposed to be a completely non-constipating form of iron and herbs. I hope it lives up to its claim because my intestines can't handle it.

On a better note, apparently I do pregnancy well. Maybe everybody I see is lying to my face, but all everyone keeps saying is how good and cute I look pregnant. Which is nice since I've been feeling like such crap lately. I had someone tell me that she wished I was pregnant all the time because I looked so adorable, I guess the extra 24 lbs has dispersed itself well. I also have the "pregnancy glow" because people tell me I do all the time, I just don't see it when I look in the mirror. I just think the ladies at my work aren't used to seeing a little pregnant dyke waddling around, I'm glad I can be a learning experience for everyone.

BIG 3-0

Wow, 30. I remember sitting on the picnic table in the middle of Simmons College residential quad chatting with my friend Lori about where I thought I'd be when I was the big 3-0. Ironically enough, I'm pretty much right where I wanted to be by this time. One of my goals was to find a nice lady who was cute and not crazy. Then I met Ros, check. Cute, smart, caring, adventurous... A total package. After we dated for 3 months and then moved to San Diego together (I know ,so lesbian, but so not me) I figured she was a keeper. When she proposed, I knew she was. Another goal of mine by the time I reached 30 was to have a baby. Here we are 7 months pregnant, and I think that's close enough. My life is going really well. Nice house, 2 great dogs, wonderful wife, baby on the way, I really can't ask for anything else.

My birthday was fun... Well most of it anyway. The plan for the day was to take a trip to NYC with Ros's work to go and see the yearly Gala performance. Since Ros is the nurse of the year at her school she had to attend just in case someone passed out again like they did 2 years ago. We started our adventure around 12:30. The drive to NY wasn't nearly as bad as I'd expected. I did prepare, packing snacks, water, pillows, and most importantly applying the TEDS to my lower half. I read, ate, and listened to the IPod, peed in the bus bathroom once, and before I knew it we were there. When we got there we went for a nice stroll through some of Central Park since I just needed to walk after sitting down for almost 4 hours. Then we met up with the kids to check on them, Ros handed out 2 band aids, and then we were off to meet my friend Gerri for dinner. Nothing makes you feel older on your 30th birthday than catching up with someone you haven't seen in 7 years. Really makes you think about all the time that has gone by. Then we were off to the show. The show was nice and all the kids did a great job. After that it was time to go. Time to get on that bus again for the 4 hour trip home. Word to the wise for anyone 7 months pregnant, or any amount of pregnant for that matter, don't ever plan on traveling on a bus for 8 hours. The last 4 hours of the trip were miserable. I couldn't get comfortable. I couldn't recline the seat because it made my back hurt, I couldn't elevate my legs because the seat had a weird bump in it. I had restless legs and felt as though my feet were going to explode. I couldn't read because the overhead lights didn't work. I couldn't talk to Ros because she could sleep through a war on a bed of nails and was passed out. I just sat there, watching the lights on the highway go by, becoming more and more agitated as the minutes ticked. I finally became tired enough to close my eyes and slept for the last 45 minutes of the trip. I will NEVER do that again. No more road trips for this pregger. I thought we might make it to PTown over Memorial Day weekend for at least a night, but the thought of that 3 hour car ride is already making me nauseated. We'll have to see about that.

On a better note, Ros and I had a great day together yesterday. I was nice and rested from staying in bed until noon. We went for a nice leisurely walk in the woods with the dogs. After that a trip to IKEA was in order where we enjoyed Swedish meatballs but were bummed that their lingonberry juice was out of order. Now our nursery is almost complete as we found some nice curtains for the closet and window, a new floor lamp, and some other cutsie baby things. If there is one thing Ros and I know how to do, it is spend money. We're definitely going to have to slow down once the Nugget arrives or else I'm going to have to get a second job. We will post some pics of the nursery as soon as we take some.

All in all, being 30 isn't as dreadful as I thought it would be. The world did not end and I did not shrivel up into a bitter old prune. I think with all the excitement of being pregnant, I've sort of forgot about the fact that this year was the dreaded birthday. So thank you Nugget for helping take my mind off of things. And thank you wifey for the best birthday present a pregnant chick could ask for, 4 prenatal massages, just what the doctor ordered.

Hungry Horrors

I totally woke up today at 8am with the hungry horrors. This wouldn't be that bad except I have to work all this weekend and need to get as much sleep as possible. I laid there for a few contemplating if I should get up and eat something or if I could ride out the pangs and get a couple more hours of sleep. With my stomach growling I reluctantly got up to make myself a piece of toast with PB and J and a small glass of milk. Luckily that held me over so I could sleep until 11 and then have my lunch at noon.

The horrors haven't disappeared yet. As I sit here at work, I just ate 5 Ritz crackers with PB and had a small glass of milk. Of course this is in addition to the apple, mozzarella stick, and "fun-sized" snickers that I've already consumed, and I've only been here for 3.5 hours. Great, I can see how this night is going to go.

I've been trying not to stress out about my weight too bad. Although stepping on that scale sometimes causes slight palpitations. I know I'll drop it all, but I've already gained 22 lbs and I still have 12 weeks to go.

All I have to say is hello 3rd trimester. Happy to see you. Now we can spend the next 12 weeks (or hopefully less and no more) fattening the Nugget up. Hopefully she can keep her weight in check while she's cooking, because although I believe I can be successful in my natural birth, if we are talking a 10 pounder, we may have to reconsider.

P.S. while writing this post I came to the realization that I need steak tips. So I just placed an order to a local restaurant so I can get my daily fix of meat (maybe I need the iron?)... This is ridiculous.

Calm and relaxed

Years ago I would have never pegged myself as someone who would even consider having a natural childbirth. After all why go through all that without meds when we live in a world with some many options available. But once I got pregnant, and even a little before, I started researching the prospect of having one of those crazy, hippie births...

I have heard that I am crazy for even considering this option, from nurses I work with to close friends of mine. Most people are stunned and just don't understand why I would even think about doing this drug free, after all, I must have forgotten where babies come from. Ouch. They are quick to point out that there is no way I will be able to do it.

I say why not? There are plenty of women out there who have had babies without the use of epidurals, pitocin, and other pain medications. Women had babies for thousands of years without medication, and many nations still don't use it (many with better statistical outcomes, I might add). It's funny because when I mention the fact that I will try to go au naturale, after all the negative comments are finished, there is always someone who talks to me quietly about how they had their baby or babies naturally and how they are the biggest wimps ever, but they could do it. Why aren't these people screaming their stories from the roof tops? They should be so proud of themselves and try to share their story with everyone. But they are quiet, and all you ever hear or see are the "war stories" about how terrible childbirth is.

Now I am not going into this decision blindly or without at least some tools to try and make this experience as least painful as possible. Firstly, Ros and I are taking a natural childbirth class. Which I personally don't think is totally necessary as we know the different stages of labor and whatnot. But they do teach different birthing positions which I find insightful and it's something that Ros and I can do together. Secondly, I have started using a course called Hypnobabies. I found Hypnobabies on the internet after our original hypnobirthing class was cancelled. With this course you read their manual, listen to positive pregnancy and birth affirmations daily, and various hypnosis cd's. Will this work for me and help me have a natural birth? I guess we won't know until July comes and we actually have to use it, but from what I've read, if you are dedicated to using the program, you will be successful. My philosophy is, if I need the drugs, I will get them, but I will do everything in my power to avoid them. Who knows what kind of side effects they will find these drugs have down the road. I'm sure James Sokolov will have a commercial in the future so you can get the compensation you deserve.

So for the past week and until my first "birthing wave" hits I am a dedicated student of Hypnobabies. Not because I am some hippie or some martyr who loves to torture myself, but because I want to avoid the endless cascade of interventions that usually accompany "regular" births such as:
1. being induced with pitocin and strapped to a monitor and confined to the bed
2. then the contractions are so bad due to this fake hormone that you have no choice but to get an epidural
3. then you are tethered to the bed because you can't feel/move your legs
4. you get a catheter
5. all of sudden the baby is in distress because the contractions are so strong because the pitocin is making your uterus squeeze too hard
6. then an emergency c-section

Watching the Business of Being Born was very enlightening. Although I wouldn't consider a homebirth, the info provided in this documentary is eye opening.

Thump!

Quickie post about the soccer player vs. her mom. Yesterday as Ros was taking part in her routine baby harassment when the baby kicked her in the head several times. It really weirded out her mom, but I loved watching.

We're doing great here, bummed I have to work all weekend. It's getting harder and harder to work 12 hour shifts, but I just have to suck it up because the only alternative is to work less during the shift but more days during the week. I'm lucky I have a boss that is flexible and this would be a possibility but there is no way I'm going in there more than 3 days a week.

Cankles are becoming more of a reality these days. Not so much on a daily basis, but I definitely look more cankly after 12 hours on my feet even while wearing TEDS. I guess this will just be part of my pregnancy. I just hope those varicose veins stay away during the next several weeks, but thinking back to what my mother's legs looked like after a few kids, I don't stand a chance. She never wore shorts my entire life unless we were at the beach, sad. Maybe the TEDS will help with that...I hope.

Viability

Not to say that I want to see little Nugget anytime soon, but it is nice to know that if something were to happen, all hope would not be lost as far as her little life goes. All that being said, I do not want to see her little face until at lease mid-June. I've seen what happens to most of those little angels born too early, of course there are some babies who do well, like a co-worker of mine who had twin boys at 24 weeks, but most do not.

Moving on to some non-baby related news, Ros and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary yesterday. I can't believe I have been married for a year already, seems like just yesterday we were talking about how we couldn't wait to dive into the top of our wedding cake since we could barely enjoy any at our actual wedding. Well we dove right into that bad boy yesterday, and I have to say, for a cake that's been in a freezer for the past year, damn it was delicious. Konditormeister does a great job. I'm still waiting to go to the "new" Milky Way so I can enjoy the pizza (loaded baked potato) that I never enjoyed at our wedding, because really, who has time to eat on their wedding day?

I am so happy to be able to be 6 months pregnant at our 1 year anniversary. One reason we decided to get married was so Ros could be on the birth certificate when we finally had a baby. We were also both nervous that MA would pull some sort of crazy California crap and we wanted to be grandfathered in if that was the case. To celebrate our wonderful day we enjoyed Thai lettuce wraps and buffalo blasts from the Cheesecake Factory along with our first natural birthing class. It's wonderful how things have come full circle.

So here we are, 1 year later, pregnant, back from our wonderful babymoon, and the wait begins. We had Nuggets room painted while we were gone so I could avoid the hazardous fumes. I know there is no VOC paint, but we had extra of the color we ended up using so hopefully we won't give her cancer by saving a few bucks on a new can of paint. Next on the agenda is to have the stairs and 2nd floor carpeted. It's sad to see Tucker and Avery fall all the way down the stairs if they have a misstep and I don't want to fall down them if I happen to slip in my socks with an infant in my arms. Then we can finally set up the crib and have Jeff come over to hoist the dresser through the window.

Being 6 months pregnant has it's ups and downs. One of the greatest ups is that I can feel Nugget move very frequently, and her kicks are getting stronger every day. I love it when Ros gets to feel her although she does get shy sometimes when a hand gets placed over the spot. Another bonus is looking pregnant without being too big yet. My belly is still cute as the organic Palmer's coco butter lotion is keeping any impending stretch mark at bay for now. One downside is that it takes a Herculean effort to roll over in bed, and I know this is just going to get worse. This leads to waking up several times per night to roll over, realizing that I should just get up to pee, and then time to fall back asleep. It makes for a slightly fatigued me, although no where near as bad as during the first trimester.

So I have to say this pregnancy (and life) is treating me well so far. We'll see what kind of turn these posts will take in a few weeks when we reach #3.