Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Update and a Reality Check

All is well in our hot little house. Dillon is settling into a sorta-kinda schedule. Her colors are coming out... and they're vibrant! She's going to be a little firecracker; we can already tell. Her nickname is DQ (Drama Queen). We're hoping this is some newborn shenanigans, but if this is just her, it's still not all that bad. As long as I can pace and bounce and as long as Nickie can lactate, we'll be just fine.
I had a sobering moment in the last hour. Through some spying and lurking, I'm able to see a few photos of other children from our donor. We originally thought Dillon had Nickie's nose, but after some examination, I'm pretty sure she got it from the donor. It's a very cute button nose that a few kids seem to have. It was nice to think that Dillon was just a clone and "Mr. Invisible" was just a muted 50%....
I read some people's struggles about the Donor Sibling Registry (DSR) on a message board. A lot of parents register their kids to be in contact with others who used the same donor. Nickie and I haven't talked about this yet. Apparently, tthe DSR sells contact info to studies on nature vs nurture, which I'm not thrilled about. I also don't know how much I want to know. Does Dillon ever need to know how "popular" her donor was? Is that going to be something she'll see as a negative? I feel like through all of our planning, this wasn't something we thought out very well. I guess if she wants to seek out information, we can help her, but I don't know how much I can stomach right now. I want to just pretend she was an immaculate conception from two women in love for a little while... =)


  1. I totally get what you mean about the donor and what you think your child may have gotten from you or the donor. I have thought the same with Sydnee.

  2. We had a creepy incident lately, where I posted that we were pregnant on the cryobank bulletin board and someone found me on facebook. They also used the same donor and wanted to be friends. Lauren was very freaked out, but we did look at pictures of their son. We are now having the same thoughts that you are and wondering what the benefits would be for a registry and if that is even anything we would want to do. Keep us updated.

  3. I read your post about breastfeeding and wanted to let you know that your partner can induce lactation! She wont be able to provide every round the clock meal for your perfect, precious LO, but she will be able to comfort nurse and give her her own brand of perfect nutrition! Let Dillon spend some time skin on skin with her, and encourage Dillon to latch on by expressing some of your milk onto your partner's nipples so Dillon can smell it there. Have her pump about every 3 hours during the day to stimulate her milk ducts and get the prolactin flowing in her brain. But Dillon sucking at her will be the best motivation for her body- and for her emotionally to get to experience that with Dillon!!!!!!
    Do this when Dillon isn't hungry so she doesn't get frustrated with the lack of milk coming out in the first few days she tries. maybe try after she nurses on you, but still wants to suck.
    ps- I'm a fellow BBC mama!

  4. I understand about the donor resemblence. My family insists that Farty looks like this or that person, but in reality, he looks a lot like some of the other kids w/the same donor. I have gotten to be pretty good friends with a couple of the other families. It's a personal and sensitive topic. I decided not to renew my DSR registry, because #1, it's expensive, and really, you get nothing for the money that you couldn't get free via other internet resources. And #2, I don't want to feel like my family is a 'lab rat' for some nature/nurture studies. I have no trouble talking to other families, but I'm not into being a statistic.

  5. We have checked out the DSR but I doubt that I would ever sign up or put my girls info on there. We did find some kids from the same donor as Riley (they are all boys( but never any from Teagan. Both of our girls are mini-me's and only rarely do I see any of their donors in them.

  6. Hi.... I've been lurking awhile, good to meet you. We used a known donor, and his kids both look exactly like his wife, and both of my sisters kids look exactly like her, so we are hoping that the combination of his "weak" genes and my "strong" genes will make ours an invisible man.... I like the immaculate conception idea anyway, and I think that's what I will stick with in my head :)

  7. My wife and I are totally freaked out by the DSR. We are using MSB and a popular donor and lots of people keep referring to our potential children as "siblings". Um, no...they are not siblings...they may share some genetic make-up but not siblings. Your daughter is BEAUTIFUL. :) Congratulations.