Kids make you fat.

It's true. I'm blaming the baby for me getting fat. Even though I'm a non-bio mom, I gained about 15lb since she was born. And Nickie hadn't lost anything since walking out of the hospital in July. Is it the lack of sleep? Stress? Lack of energy? The fact the we eat anything that can go in a microwave or pick up in a drive though? Probably a combo. Regardless, Nickie and I put an end to it on New Years.

Nickie and I decided we didn't want to be fat moms. We don't want to be on the sidelines when we could be playing too. Deep down I worry that Dillon will be stigmatized for having 2 moms already. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if we were fit, attractive moms instead of lumpy, dumpy moms. We were definitely going down the lumpy, dumpy path; I wore the same fat jeans for most of the holidays and we had both transitioned to sweats by Dec 30.

We went carb-free. I've always been a Weight Watchers girl, but my mom has had great results with South Beach, so we're giving it a shot. So far, it hasn't been too bad. All the protein is filling. Meat and cheese is still allowed. There's no counting points or calories. There's a lot of sugar-free alternatives to things we like, like popsicles, fudgicles and even chocolate milk. Instead of having a carb with meals, we're just doubling up on veggies.

Don't get me wrong; Bread, pasta, rice, sweets, cereal, potatoes and fruit have been sorely missed. The cravings were bad for a few days and seeing McD's commercials are plain painful. There have been some moments that have required restraint, for sure.

I'm down 5lbs since last Saturday, so it's definitely working. Nickie's down too, but she's more patient than me and hasn't weighed herself to get a number. The first 2 weeks, South Beachers are expected to lose 8-13lbs, then a few unrefined carbs can be introduced (yay!).

Dillon has been fighting our diet. She's had some wretched nights. 2 of the 3 mornings I planned to go to the gym were squashed from Dill only letting us sleep 3-5 hours a night. We're going to read the Ferber book and we'll hopefully "Ferberize" her in the next few weeks to get her to sleep through the night. Nickie and I were warned that we'll be up for a few nights until Dillon gets in the groove, so we're working on scheduling a few marathon nights where we won't have to function during the day.

Here are a few photos from the last week. Dillon and I are doing a swimming class together. She LOVES water. She did a great job!

Nickie tried out our new (used) backpack after it snowed. Dillon seemed to like it (much more than her face portrays). We found another enjoyable activity! And, I just like the last photo. =)

-Ros

Happy New Year!

We just wanted to say Happy Holiday and Happy New Year! From, Ros, Nickie and Dillon

Where are the brakes?!

(AM Dillon, before the hair battle =))

Every day, Dillon's a little different: a little older. She's ripping through her milestones. Rolling, grabbing, playing, sitting up, teeth, food and now she can move on her belly. Granted, she goes backwards, but I don't think forward is far off. When she sits on your lap, she moves around like she wants to get down. She can't stay still.

I thought we had more time with our little stationary baby?! She's only 5 months old for pete sake! I hope she slows down a bit because we can't keep up!

She's got SUCH a personality. She's a ham for crowds. If she wants something, she lets you know. She's starting to know to smile when the camera comes out. She's chatty and seems convinced she's an active participant in conversations.

Where did out little, yellow, feeble, knobby kneed newborn go?!

Thankful

Sitting pretty with mamas and Nanny.

I'm thankful for Dillon. I'm not only thankful for myself, but for the joy she has brought so many in the 4 months she's been here. Especially for my family, which has endured some pretty upsetting Thanksgiving holidays over the past couple of years.


2 years ago today my grandfather, my jiddo, choked on a piece of bread that led him to pass away a week later. That was the worst Thanksgiving ever. Seeing him in the ER, intubated and posturing, knowing that it would have been better if he wouldn't have been resucitated, was heartbreaking.


Last thanksgiving my mother was in the hospital dying of cancer, refusing blood transfusions because she was worried she would get AIDS. That Thanksgiving sucked too.

But this Thanksgiving practically erased all of those bad memories because Dillon has come into our lives. She is all my family ever talks about. They live about an hour away so they cherish each visit we make. I'm so greatful that I have been able to bring this joy to them.

I'm thankful that Dillon's 2 great grandmothers are around to enjoy her. It's so cute watching her sit on their lap and laugh at them. Dillon loves old people.

And that is what I'm thankful for. -Nickie

With Sit Sit (great grandmother) and Auntie Rachael

Community Lost

After 122 years, my childhood church held its last sermon. Because of finances and lack of membership, it could no longer stay a float; a story like many other churches. I went there from ages 3 to 22'ish. My mom was the secretary there for many years. My best friend went there. It was a place I spent my Sundays in Sunday School and in sermon. My summers were spent at Vacation Bible School and church camp. I have fond memories of potluck lunches, singing and end of the year bbq's. The members were a pseudo-family to me. I have exponential memories there that I hadn't thought much about for a long time. Now that my memories are surfacing, I'm at a loss.

I went to the farwell dinner last week and the last sermon today. I brought Dillon. It felt like I had never left. Even when I hadn't been around for years, people still knew a lot of what I was doing. I saw adults that I cared for when they were in diapers. I saw people who cared for me the same way. Everyone adored Dillon and held her like their own. I was hugged tight and long. I was home again.

I have feelings of grief, guilt and many others. One of my feelings is about Dillon. I wish she has what I had. I want her to have a sense of community. I want her to experience people who have a common cause and investment in eachother. I want her to have plentiful interactions beyond electronic. I worry that she'll miss out. I worry that she will lack the positive influences that I had.

Nickie and I have talked about it quite a few times and have both felt that religion is just not important in our lives at this point. I don't know where to go from here with this, but I want to do something.

No News is Good News

Sorry we haven't posted much. Life is just status quo. It's sad that only anger, stress or chaos are inspiring, isn't it?

Dillon's 4 months old now. She's been a blast the last few weeks. She's dying to become mobile, as witnessed by the continued constant flipping on her belly, realizing she can't crawl yet, then screaming. I'm nervous about how active she's going to be because she's ready to move and groove since day one.

I'm currently listening to the monitor waiting for the scream; this is our first night not swaddling. We're trying out the "Magic Sleep Suit" to transition. So far, so good. She napped in it earlier today for almost 2 hours (which is great when her naps are generally spirits rather than marathons). She's been in bed for 2 hours now and I haven't heard anything since I put her down. The last few nights she would scream like someone was stabbing her after she'd been in bed an hour. No phantom stabbings tonight, so I consider it a success.

What else... I have the week off, which is EXCELLENT. It's been a rough few months since I went back to work. I feel like I'm addicted to my daughter, so leaving for 8-12 hours without seeing her induces pain that is almost physical. Thankfully, Nickie can visit on most days for a quick fix. I can't express the excitement I have over my week-long binge.

Here are a few new pics. As you can see, Dillon had her first bath in the big tub. She loved it. I see swim classes in the near future.

Happy Thanksgiving!
Ros

Happy Halloween!

Nickie's working so Dill and I went to see my parents, came home and I put her to bed. Not a very exciting day. She'll have her 10/31 fun soon enough. I didn't take trick-or-treaters this year; Dillon's been asleep by 7pm most nights and Tucker (one of our dachshunds) barks whenever someone comes to the door. It was not a combination I wanted to deal with tonight.

I did a photo shoot just for fun this AM. Though I don't want to rush things, I'm looking forward to Dillon being able to sit up on her own for photo reasons. I spend half the time propping her back up (the other half is spent making faces like an idiot, but whatever it takes to get the shot!).

We hope you had a nice Halloween! -Ros